My Mini Mental Illness
by She'sAManiac
Summary: This is based off a comment from the episode “My Bad” in which Elliot phones her mom. This is the phone conversation and its aftermath. Jalliot onshot.


Note-This is based off a comment from the episode "My Bad" where Elliot phones her mom

**Note-This is based off a comment from the episode "My Bad" where Elliot phones her mom. This is the phone conversation and its aftermath.**** And what if the Janitor's completely OOC? I don't care! This is his softer side, people!**

"I don't know, mom. I'm just feeling lost, you know. I know you're so busy and all…I guess I'm just kind of lonely"

"_Honey, you sound fat, are you getting fat?_"

"Mom, can you just try to hear what I'm saying? Just this once?"

"_You know what getting fat does to your face! Maybe you should get a haircut. But not short hair! You don't have short hair, do you?_"

"No, I don't have short hair…"

"_Good, because you know that short hair gives you…_"

Yes, I know short hair gives me a big face"

"_Exactly! If you're fat already then you don't need a big face_"

"Yeah. Mm…"

Maybe mom was right. I had looked at the weighing scales in my bathroom earlier. The dial had pointed to 120. I had gained 10 in the last two days. Holy frick…

Now I sat at the cafeteria table, watching JD shovel a hotdog down his throat. I added up 315 calories. And 379 in the chocolate pudding on his tray. That was…694 calories in one meal!

I stared down at my own identical lunch. It looked revolting now. I gingerly picked up the hotdog and took a tiny bite. Then another. Then another. Then I ended up wolfing the whole thing down and felt sick.

JD stole a chip off my plate. That was 153 calories…

"You ok, Elliot?" he smiled.

"I feel kinda sick…" I muttered in response.

"Ooh, you won't want this then!" he grinned, and grabbed the chocolate pudding off my tray and added it to his. 1201 calories he'd eaten now. I was disgusted.

"Excuse me…" I mumbled, and got up. I could taste the hotdog, clammy and slimy in my throat. Dr Kelso was eating a massive chocolate cake, 367. Todd, a sausage, 118. Doug, a cherry sucker, 22. Laverne, a jam doughnut, 287. Dr Cox, an energy bar, 240.

I felt bile rising in my throat, and made it to the ladies bathroom just in time to speak to god on the porcelain cellphone.

It felt…good.

The next day, I ate a perfectly normal lunch, then ran to the bathroom and stuck my fingers down my throat. My eyeballs stung, my throat felt like it had been scrubbed with sandpaper and it was as if someone had ripped out my stomach, set fire to it and sewed it back it. JD would have a daydream ball if I told him that!

Mom was right. I was definitely getting fat. I poked the flab around my abdomen and I felt soft flesh. My stomach rippled. Gross…

I wiped my mouth on my Scrubs sleeve, and flushed the toilet. I stepped outside, and began to wash my hands. But then I heard a familiar voice:

"Blonde doctor?"

I turned in shock. The Janitor was standing in the doorway, an anxious expression plastered across his face.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Um, yeah!" I replied, trying to smile. Frick, frick, frick, fricketty, frick! Had he heard?

"You don't sound ok?"

Yep, he heard.

"Oh, that…er, just a…stomach upset! It's probably the cafeteria food…!"

The Janitor stepped aside to reveal a furious Troy.

"Can we kill her?" he asked, a menacing glint in his eye. I gulped.

"No…" Janitor muttered. "Let me deal with it"

Troy grunted, and reluctantly left. Janitor took a few steps towards me.

"You sure you're ok?"

"No…" I sighed. "I'm just kinda confused…my whole life feels like it's just going down the crapper right now…"

"Along with your lunch?"

I sighed. "Yeah…"

"You know, making yourself sick won't sort out your life"

"I know…I just feel depressed, and when I feel depressed I feel old and when I feel old I feel fat…oh my god, I'm turning into my mother! Soon I'll be having intercourse with the pool boy in my garden shed!" I realised that my voice had risen a few thousand decibels above the average human rate.

"Calm down, Blonde Doctor!"

"Sorry…"

"It's ok. You're too pretty to look like anyone's mother"

I smiled, touched.

"Thanks, Janitor!"

"Now don't go making yourself sick again, 'coz I have to unblock that toilet!"

"Sorry…"

"Meh, don't worry. Now get yourself outta here and go get some lunch"

I smiled. Then I walked up to him, and laid my hand on one of his cheeks and lightly kissed the other.

"Thanks"

Then I walked out of the bathroom. I stopped, and turned just in time to see Janitor do a little triumphant dance. I grinned to myself, and walked back to the cafeteria.

**Note-Incredibly fluffy, but this was my first Jalliot fic, so hey!**


End file.
